Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Read it again? Sometimes. (Anthony, Asimov)

The theme of the day is all-in-one novels, or books that contain multiple books from the same series, taken from my collection.

     I have read the first seven Xanth books at least ten times each in high school. I felt as if they were witty, with great characters, and each book was different. After the seventh* book, the formula was:

Official Xanth Writing Formula

1) Have an issue.
2) Go to the Good Magician Humphrey's castle for a answer
3) He gives you a quest in exchange for the answer, big breasted Gorgon
4) Puns
5) Love side story that is not very good, or innuendo of a strange sexual nature
6) Puns
7) Ends on a positive note, possibly interspecies sexual innuendo

I suffered through almost 25 Xanth books before I realized they were not getting any better, and decided the best books were the ones he wrote before he was super famous, and had to be very creative. Being as prolific as he was, almost everything was a trilogy.. or a trilogy of trilogies. Later series that broke free of the trilogy suffered greatly as a result. Most people would call this "sucking ass" or "pants-shittingly bad".
     The Adept novels were awesome. Half Fantasy, half Science Fiction, they were just what the doctor ordered. The first three books were magical, perfect, and just really fun. Each of the books could be made into a detailed blockbuster movie. Stile, the main character of the first trilogy was the consummate un-hero, breaking stereotypes and winning at all costs. Then, enter the next trilogy. The frames merged, then separated, leaving a huge plot hole. To fill the hole, make the main characters have kids, and give them unoriginal names and abilities. Break rules you have made in earlier books in the series, and introduce unimportant characters to dilute the story further. Weird alien and child sexual innuendo abounds in larrrge amounts. Do yourself a favor and read the first three books in the adept series again and again, but skip the last three. To cap it all off, as if my other issues were not enough, he wrote a seventh book, and it just got out of hand. Crossover you say? Of course he had a character in Xanth visit Phaze, the fantasy world in the Adept novels. Sigh.

     Best science fiction series(s) ever written. I read these novels several times, all the way in to adulthood. Unlike the Piers Anthony books, they really hold up to today's standards. The story stays with you, and does not get watered down in sequels. The blend of science fiction, friendships, love and hate, and sometimes violence draws you to each page. Foundation is one series that ever human should have to read before they leave the earth. In a fictional study that I just made up, 25% of white males aged 10 to 25 should fucking read this book.

     I'll be honest, it's been raining a bit lately, especially when you want to get out and do something. Garage sales were plentiful last weekend, but books were in short supply. I live in a wealthy area, but unfortunately, rich people don't seem to like to read, or get rid of their good books. I found my wife several things, and some movies for my son but that's about it. I'll give it another try this weekend and see what I come up with, and if I don't find anything, I'll just sit in my car and shit my pants or something and write about that.

*I did enjoy the eighth book in the series, but as an adult I felt it juvenile and poorly written.

1 comment:

  1. When taking these pictures on my carpet, I did not realize they were so horrible in quality. Not that I'm going to do anything about it, but it's worth mentioning.